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    posted a message on ~The 100 Song Face-Off V7~Black bird, black moon, black sky, black light, black, everything black!!!
    Quote from bluejay100 »
    Congrats Brian!

    Here were my nominations. They were mainly a list of songs by music groups that friends of mine in a different community enjoy, so they aren't necessarily songs I like (but most of them were).

    Asturias (transcribed for guitar) - Isaac Albeniz
    You Were Cool - The Mountain Goats
    Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
    Space Oddity - David Bowie
    Hurt - Johnny Cash
    bless, i loved chicago it's a wonderful song.

    my songs were

    FM84 ~ Goodbye
    The Midnight ~ Crystalline
    Gorillaz ~ Fire Flies
    (all songs i super love)
    Beach House ~ Lemon Glow
    (random song from beach house's new album)
    machineheart ~ Overgrown
    (threw in a song i was just feelin at the time)

    this was fun ty for hosting!!
    Posted in: Entertainment
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    posted a message on ~The 100 Song Face-Off V7~Black bird, black moon, black sky, black light, black, everything black!!!
    all v good songs actually

    Lost Memory -3 I HJATE THE BEEPINg
    Luv Letter +1 i love both this and everything black a lot in different ways
    You Say Run -1 he'll ya
    Crystalline +3 a very sexy song i feel in my b0nes
    Everything Black 0 so good
    Posted in: Entertainment
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    posted a message on ✬Peace of Mind: A Mental Health Support Club✬ V2
    walks are cathartic
    Posted in: Themed Clubs
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    posted a message on Azurilland Plays: Pokémon Heart Gold and Soul Silver
    the last update

    yep I've finished too so I'll just post this here.

    I beat all the gym leaders wowie!! yeah it wasn't that hard. And I had two rare candies left so I just got Spinky to level 98 and used them to boost her all the way to 100.

    Red wasn't that difficult, there were some close calls but I beat him on the first try. Pikachu was easily taken out with Dig (and I thankfully didn't get paralyzed from Static). Blastoise hit with Focus Blast and nearly knocked me out, that plus the Hail made things dicey, but I outsped and took it out with Return the next turn. Venusaur successfully put me to sleep too, like dam he had quite the luck. But hey, Return was definitely a life saver throughout most this match. It took out basically all of them in 2-3 hits. I used maybe 4 max potions total.

    And well that's it I guess. I couldn't get a pic of anything afterward since it all went so fast and then the credits rolled and I teleported back to my room.

    But that's all! I finished. Spinky did good and I had fun.

    Ty for running the Azurilland Plays. ♥


    Final Stats:



    Spinky Lv. 100
    @ Muscle Band
    Own Tempo, Quirky nature, Hates to lose
    -Dig
    -Return
    -Shadow Claw
    -Thunderbolt
    300 HP | 196 Atk | 165 Def | 163 SpA | 160 SpD | 276 Spd
    Posted in: Pokémon Playthroughs
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    posted a message on 🌵 Cacnea Compound - sup
    what
    Posted in: Casual Clubs
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    posted a message on ~The 100 Song Face-Off V7~Black bird, black moon, black sky, black light, black, everything black!!!
    Everything Black +1
    Praying -3
    Fire Flies +3
    All Too Well 0
    Human -1

    ez
    Posted in: Entertainment
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    posted a message on 🌵 Cacnea Compound - sup
    cool
    Posted in: Casual Clubs
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    posted a message on 🌵 Cacnea Compound - sup
    should we make a club account on new forum when it opens
    Posted in: Casual Clubs
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    posted a message on *~The Southern Island Version 3~* I wanna let you know, I'll never let this feeling go. This love has no ceiling I cannot deny!~
    o w o it doesn't just affect me but yes i shouldn't have said anyhting lol

    im so excited for new site!!!
    Posted in: Casual Clubs
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    posted a message on Count as High as Possible before A Mod/Admin Posts V11
    Quote from ~Kilza~ »
    11. There was no tension with the previous record break either though hmm
    12 ***** u weren't even there
    Posted in: Games and Other Randomness
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    posted a message on ~The 100 Song Face-Off V7~Black bird, black moon, black sky, black light, black, everything black!!!
    Layla 0
    Chicago +1
    Crystalline +3
    Hurt -3
    Paraousia -1

    crystalline and chicago are super lovely songs, layla is quite groovy and nice, parouoiesiaaia is ok but i really do not like those squishy wubs, i already said all i feel about hurt when i rated it
    Posted in: Entertainment
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    posted a message on shhmew
    reserve in case I get sentimental and wanna add a whole heckton of stuff

    also comments are welcome i'm always happy to talk about the forums or answer questions or whatever the heck ppl wanna do
    Posted in: Azurilland's Sunset and Your Memories
  • 8

    posted a message on shhmew
    hoo boi wowie an excuse to dedicate an entire thread to myself:J

    I probably wouldn't have written anything, except uhhh I happened to be completely obsessed with this website for a long time and despite not being here very long, went from member to moderator to administrator to the highest possible rank I could have reached... It has been quite the journey so it would feel wrong to not document it before this place is archived.

    Even though the community will continue on elsewhere, this feels fitting anyway, since I've now kinda moved on I guess and returned to being a normal member. Although I still pop in almost daily, I'm not nearly as attached and it feels like my actual Azuriventure has effectively come to an end.

    Even if no one reads this - I'm glad I wrote it, I'm glad it'll exist.


    personal
    These forums were my life for like 4 years, and that is no exaggeration. I put every bit of my soul into it while I was on staff. I had wild mental problems, I was a recluse, I didn't have a job or even go to school, I hardly even left the house, for a long long time. I just posted on these forums, moderated, wrote super thorough guides, and played lots and lots of Pokemon. It was my entire life and it meant everything to me.

    That time of my life is very bittersweet, because while I absolutely loved this place and the people I interacted with, I wasn't really doing much for myself. Being on staff definitely helped my confidence, and the little projects I took on definitely brought me some fulfillment, and that was about it.

    But that's exactly why I look back on it so fondly now. Because even if I wasn't in the best place mentally, I had a safe place to go to and people who cared about me. I don't even know if many people here really know the extent of the misery I was in during that time, since I was usually at my happiest and best while on this site. And since then, I grew. I grew so much. I followed my passions, I started pursuing a degree and got a job, I pushed myself out of that stuffy little comfort zone, and damn was it challenging but damn did it feel good.

    I've grown away from Azurilland and truly become my own person, and I'm very proud of that, but I can't ever forget that it was there for me even at my lowest point. It was a home, it was significant in me becoming who I am now, heck I even met my better half because of this place.

    No matter what happens to Azurilland, I'll always remember how special it was and keep those memories tucked safely in my heart.

    history
    stage 1: a babby
    I joined 12/12/12. Aside from being a really cool join date, it was also right after this site transitioned to Curse. I was never around for the phpbb era, but I've heard countless stories and I met so many of the amazing people who were there.

    I had been a fan of Marriland for years, but only then did I get around to creating my shhmew account and actually posting. I remember being a brand new member very vividly, and being instantly in love with the environment. Games like the Pokemon Hurt n Heal hooked me in, and joining conversations in the Chatterbox and clubs kept me wanting to come back as often as possible.

    stage 2: a moddy
    After only a few months of being a member, I guess my passion showed - I was made a moderator on April 4th, 2013. That's right, I joined on 12/12 and became a mod on 4/4. Anyway, throughout my time as a mod I really tried to leave my mark on the place. I treated it like a full time job. I'd be online as often as I could, handling reports, cleaning up the messes that the Curse transition made, and bringing up any ideas or suggestions that came to mind. It really was my life.

    stage 3: a n admin
    November 2014 is when I was offered the position of administrator. I felt honored, as if my hard work had been validated, I guess. I just felt happy that I could be proud of something in my life for once. As an administrator, I began helping Marriland finish his written walkthroughs and even started some of my own, which took so much time but was SO rewarding, I would literally just bust out an iced coffee, sit on my booty, and spend several hours a day just writing. It was my favorite thing at the time.

    stage 4: a queen
    Then, sadly, Marriland was let go, and the site became something else... it became Azurilland. Marriland would no longer be a significant part of our home, and... I was chosen to essentially take his place, as a leader and as a contact to Curse.

    The name may have been different, but it was still our home that we all knew and loved.

    At that time, my heart was so full, and I was very ready to do everything I could to lead the site and its community in a positive direction. I became very protective and very adamant to keep this place going and keep it great.

    stage 5: hmhm
    But... I feel like my ambition for the site went downhill from there. With Marriland leaving and the transition to Azurilland, a lot of things were changing, I started feeling less comfortable and less like anything I did mattered, and I started thinking hard about whether or not this was worth it for me. Instead of being out living my life, I was getting headaches over a Pokemon forum where I didn't even feel I fit in much anymore. Instead of having a job that gave me an income so I could pay bills, I would spend hours upon HOURS taking on meaningless projects like adding every single Pokemon's menu sprite in as emotes. All for a small site that was clearly on the decline. I no longer felt respected or appreciated... I didn't feel welcome anymore... I didn't feel like I was making a difference. I just felt lost and like the site would fade away no matter what I did.

    That was the major turning point for me. And as it turned out, growing and becoming my own person meant growing farther apart from Azurilland. In order to find myself, I had to let go of the thing I was clinging hardest too... the thing always dragging me down... well, putting it into words makes it sound very dramatic doesn't it. I just had to move on, that's all.

    I retired from staff on the last day of 2017.

    They put me in the advisory position where I could still view the staff boards and participate in discussion, but that felt like it kind of defeated the purpose of resigning, so I soon left that, too. I just wanted to be free of the titles, free of the responsibilities so I could focus on myself.

    stage 6: just shhmew
    Azurilland was my baby, but ultimately I think most everything I did for it amounted to nothing, and not only does it not belong to me, it hasn't felt like home in quite some time. It is sad in a way, how things have changed so much in a way that makes me feel most comfortable just standing over in the corner watching from afar. But I'm still glad to be here, whether my presence is big or small. I'm just me, and doing what gives me the most joy and fulfillment is all I could ask for, even if that meant letting go of something I had been clinging to for years.

    Now that we are being archived, it is heartwarming to see we will be rejoining Marriland. Even if we will be starting from scratch in a sense, it is just nice to see the community have that opportunity and keep living on.

    Regardless, though - the world keeps on turning and all of us will keep on growing. That's the most important thing.


    { T I M E L I N E }
    { 12 dec '12: joined }
    { 4 apr '13: promoted to moderator }
    ( 13 nov '14: promoted to administrator }
    { late (?) '15: became leader/super administrator }
    { 31 dec '17: resigned from staff, became advisory }
    { 4 mar '18: resigned from advisory }

    clubs
    Clubs get their own section because they mean so much to me. Some I was a part of homed so many of my marri/azuri friendships.

    The very first club I ever joined was the Lucky Star Club, in February 2013. The members there seemed so genuine and like people I really wanted to get to know better, so I gave it a try, despite feeling a bit timid and shy since I was so new. Fortunately, everyone was super nice and welcoming, and even though so many of them had been on the site for a long long time, they took in a naive newbie like me and made me one of their own. I think that was a major reason I became so attached to the community early on - I formed strong friendships so easily, which was something I really struggled with elsewhere.

    During my time on Marri/Azuri, I created 5 clubs and co-led 3 others... at least that I can recall. I absolutely loved running clubs, because it gave me an excuse to run events and take on my own projects, as well as the chance to create a community of my own. I also joined many others, and a lot of them sprouted some of the most fun memories I have here.

    Back in 2014, clubs were CRAZY active, and the amount of activity PCT in particular received was very exciting - becoming official in only a few hours and gaining so many pages in just a month was insane. That is probably my favorite club that I have made, I put a ridiculous amount of effort into it and even though it ultimately burned me out, I had fun at the time and it's nice to think back on.

    Also, poor Palette Town. I really wanted to run an art club but it just wasn't meant to be, lol.


    { C L U B S C R E A T E D }
    { Creative Cats Club: 6 jul '13 - 20 sep '13 (137 pages) }
    { Paws & Claws Tribe: 18 jan '14 - 17 feb '14 (v1 / 172 pages), 7 may '14 - 24 apr '15 (v2 / 492 pages) }
    { The Crystal Temple: 15 jun '15 - 3 apr '17 (22 pages) }
    { Soul Heart Home: 18 jul '16 - 28 oct '16 (52 pages) }
    { Palette Town: 16 may '17 - 5 mar '18 (5 pages) }

    { s p e c i a l m e n t i o n s }
    { Lucky Star Club: first club joined }
    { Cacnea Compound: current co-leader }
    { Eevee Clan: current co-leader }
    { Marri Kart Racers: co-leader from opening to closing }
    { The Drive-In: current active member since opening }
    { Lonely Hearts: current active member }
    { Peace of Mind: current active member since opening}
    { Rainbow Connection: active member from opening to closing }
    { Overwatch Task Force: active member }

    fourplay
    Not everyone will know what this is, but it was a HUGE part of my time here, too. Fourplay was a small forum space created by Marriland members who left or became less active after the switch to Curse. Here, I met and got to know so many people I would have otherwise never had the opportunity to know, and I'm so thankful for that.

    June 2013 is when I found my way there. This is where I met the most important person in my life, joined and ran even more events and projects, listened in on many fun voice calls, and overall just had a blast. It was also where I let my idiotic side shine - I'm talking mental breakdowns and airing very dirty laundry - but that also means it was where I did a lot of growing.

    Fourplay was on Zetaboards and has now been swallowed by Tapatalk, so it's basically dead, but the memories and the connections I made there are still as strong as they ever were. If you're a friend I met through Fourplay and you're reading through this for some reason, please know I'm always happy to reconnect no matter how long it's been since we've last spoken!!!

    major projects
    Things I've completed on this site:

    [to be added later]

    more coming soon...

    Posted in: Azurilland's Sunset and Your Memories
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    posted a message on The Drive-In! ★ Next Movie: The Marriland Forums (2018-???)
    I wish I could have watched Halloween, my dad loves those movies and I used to watch them as a child. Ya my dad showed me a lot of horror movies as a child lol.

    Since the next movie is on Halloween, I can most likely make it!! I happen to have it off. I mean I've seen the Nightmare Before christmas like 800 times but one more time won't hurt.
    Posted in: Themed Clubs
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